@Blueberrybook: Yes, i can feel the improvements already and it's only been three days. I feel so much better about my reflection in the mirror. I see that i am not a monstrous obscenity. I am just an fat woman. It is not a crime against humanity, it is just a round belly. I even laugh about how i have TWO bums! I have my lower, regular bum. Then on top of that i have flesh deposits on the outer back sides of the tops of my hips ~ two bums! My lower inner bum and my upper outer bum. TWO is better than ONE!!! As a young lady i had anorexia. As a senior lady i have two bums! Hahaha! I got some excellent tights today, so comfortable and fit me perfectly, four pairs of classic black. So i can go to the gym looking sharp! I ordered some faux ballet shoes too. They arrive tomorrow. I can do my ballet poses looking like a real dancer!

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Two of the kids approached me in the lobby today and shyly said they had a question to ask me, that they'd wanted to yesterday but couldn't. The question was: "When can we come to your house?" Hahaha! I said it was a mess but took their number and will call them down when i tidy up. They can draw me pictures! I have paper, crayons, markers, and pens! Looking forward to it!

I go for my initial therapy session tomorrow, at a 'community center.' The other org i am waitlisted for is a 'family service center' and i expect that one will be more worthwhile. But i'll go tomorrow anyways to the 'community center' one as it can't hurt. I will have three walk-in sessions and then we will decide how to proceed, whether i need a short additional course of ten or twelve scheduled sessions, or what.

The 'family service center' will contact me in one or two months. That is a paid arrangement but only $90 per session. I have a feeling the paid sessions will be more worthwhile than the free ones i am going to see about tomorrow. But it can't hurt to have both!

Kind of sick of "The Man-Woman Thing." I'll just focus on female friends, kids, and dogs!