It's so strange to finally become the relatively stable person.

He messaged me at 9.am to tell me that he wanted to break up, because he emotionally exposed himself and told me everything.

I told him I wasn't accepting it.

It's wild to watch the same push pull dynamic that I used to have play out.

Minus the grief aspect. i felt stable and steady as a rock. I can hear F saying to me "Deep breaths, shoulders back and head up".

Volunteering went well. I was there for four hours. The last 50 mins did drag a little bit, but I had fun. The team was very nice. Work wise I've accepted a NHS non clinical role, but it's for bank shifts, which means I can work as much as I want, but at the same time I didn't have a fixed contract. The onboarding process has been incredibly slow. It's not uncommon for it to usually take 3 months. With appointments with occupational health, ID appointments, DBS checks and reference checking. Mine so far has taken 4 months and is still incomplete. They have a paid position at the charity branch I volunteered at today, and I want to give it a go and apply as I've got nothing to lose by doing so. It's weird because the old me would have talked myself out of even applying. The deadline is in 13 days and I've done the first half just have to write answers to the four extra questions.