We have a family member getting married in two months. We are not real close with the engaged person due to her toxic mother. This family member we only see once a year or less and only for things like graduations. The wedding is 5 hours away from where we live. The problem is that we are being required to bring her 82 year old grandmother who can barely walk, can not control her bladder and bowels and frequently messes herself and makes constant demands of people as well as loses her patience easily when she gets tired or hungry. I respect the elderly, but I do not feel this woman should be sitting in a car for a 5 hour drive,, sitting through a wedding, then 5 hours back home. I feel it will ruin it for everyone and the grandmother will most likely not enjoy herself. I'd like to tell the family of the engaged woman that we will not be bringing the grandmother. However, they will probably not take it well and the grandmother has a child-like mentality and does not understand her limited mobility and incontinence issues. She just thinks its a fun time out for her. To make matters worse, the wedding is located in an extremely rural area without many support services such as wheelchairs or mobility devices, very few restaurants, nearest hospital is 45 minutes away and no grocery stores to buy incontinence products or medications. This whole thing is a disaster waiting to happen, in my opinion. Thanks for any advice.