Another good session. Extremely hard. Sobbing on my end twice. Once because she brought up how I had no joy during her pregnancy and the other her bringing up that I can’t have kids. That might sound like mean things to bring up already, but we were going with the flow and those naturally came up. They’re going to have to be processed one day and it’s not like it’s a secret. We talked about a lot of other things too. Again, some too personal to put here. Other things are kind of muddled: feelings, triggers, pain, raw spots, etc. I told her if it’s too early to ask I’d understand, but I would like to ask for her forgiveness. She said she has forgiven me this whole time. Oh! We talked about overreactions. How an event might make it a 3, but things from our past add on and we might react with a 7. Both the 3 and extra 4 are valid. But to learn to see the situation as just the 3 is what a goal is. I 100% agree with that. If I can do that, I think I’d feel much better about my reactions. We ended with tense and release breathing, plan for in-person Tuesday, self-care plan, and connecting question.

I have hope that I made the right decision to stay. And that we’ll be okay. I hope so!