lovethesun, having read this I can relate.

Until about 2 years ago, I was taking my late mother to medical appointments, sorting prescriptions, food shopping, etc. Brother was conspicuous by his absence. With failing health, she could then have house calls from doctor, nurse, etc. Also taking her out became a problem due to mobility and incontinence. Brother then became more involved, partly due to mother's attitude towards me.

When social services became involved, they expected my brother and I to provide care that we were not trained for. Bathing, lifting, etc. We both stressed this lack of training and that resulted in a care home place.

Thankfully, we never had the situation you describe. If we had, we would have sought advice from medical professionals on whether any trip out could be managed by us.

I feel for you. Your husband feels a duty towards his mother and doesn't see the detrimental affect it can have on your relationship. Sadly, I think the only outcome is either his mother doesn't attend the wedding or you don't.