It's the anniversary of the day my ex set our house on fire. Even after eight years it still feels difficult. I just told my new therapist the events of that night and we listened to my 911 call. Don't know why I needed her to hear it, but it felt important.

I'm wondering if it feels harder this year because P is gone. I still really miss him. Also he was there when all this stuff happened. I've realized that I don't think I would reach out to my new therapist for support because I'm not sure what she could do that would help. When I reached out to P for support, it felt supportive to hear back from him, like there was someone there for me and it felt good. While I'm sure new T would be there, it doesn't feel the same.