The next event at the Baha'i center is on Friday, August 1, in twelve days so i'll just go to that and likely see my friend there. I'm not gonna arrange a private social engagement for us. That would be too much like pursuing him. Guys tend to see sexual interest where none exists and i don't want to get into THAT again.

It's better this way because i don't have to make a commitment. It's something i want to attend even if my friend is NOT there. If he is there, fine. If not, nothing is lost.

It was so heavy between us today. I don't want that again. We might know too much about each other now to have a casual, carefree, lighthearted friendship.

I feel sort of excited to have met my equal, yet i sort of dread it too. I thought i DESIRED intimate personal connection, but now that it's here, i am not so sure. Maybe i only desire IMPERSONAL experiences.

I guess i'm scared.