I'm not gonna worry about the friend today. He's longtime platonic non-romantic common-law with another woman anyways. He's not even available. He's not pursuing me, so there's no decision to make. He's my age, and safe and comfortable in his relationship. It's very unlikely that he'd do anything to upset it at this age.

There's not that much for me to gain in an intimate relationship, and everything to lose. I don't want to know any more about him than i already do. I already know too much. It just happened today. We were chatting about furniture and suddenly, out of nowhere, we were connecting. No one's fault, it was just spontaneous, these things happen. The hazards of socializing.

I won't go to the Baha'i event. I don't want to see him. I'll just avoid him. In the extremely unlikely event that he calls i won't answer.

It's for the best.

There's this urge to cry, but it will pass. Somewhere along the line, these past thirty years, i got tough. I never thought i'd be tough, but here it is. Ruthless. Only the vicious survive.