Hi, I found your post really interesting, @kelsey65, and I am sure you’re not alone in your experiences. I appreciate that you have opened your heart to share your deepest thoughts, feelings and experiences. This takes a lot of courage to do, and I admire you for it.

I wonder if your dream has just coincided with a time in your life when you actually feel more free to accept who you are? I begin to feel myself, now I have entered my sixtieth year, that I’m more inclined to put myself first, and think more of my own path I want to follow in life; and one that will bring me the greatest happiness and satisfaction. I have spent a lifetime putting other people first, and I think there comes a time when this simply becomes too exhausting.

I think, in answer to your question - “Am I a fake?” - I would say most certainly not. Also, I’d ask is it really important to put yourself into a particular category of transgender, crossdresser, etc. You can just be who you are, enjoy what you are currently doing. Continuing to explore your feminine side is what makes you happy, so continue to explore that in a safe way and see where it takes you.

Have you ever contacted or sought advice from gender related support groups, just out of interest?

Wishing you all the best, and please keep posting about your progress and experiences.

Jeff.