self-maiming psychologically, can I use this term, too, Unaluna?
@strongsurvivor,

Many years ago, I was married to a psychotherapist who coerced me in many ways; I can say "yes, I experienced that" under many of your bullet points. And I was an adult woman, a mother. I ultimately broke free, but a lot of damage had been done, and I am resigned to the fact that some of the damage is irreparable. Still, I much enjoy being free now.

Thank you for reclaiming my voice. All the best to you.