Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsey65
Thanks for reading my post. I have been accused when writing that I "go on for too long", but when I start writing, it just feels a release. That is true not just for writings such as these, but anything I write in general!
|
Hi @
kelsey65. Writing can be a really great way of helping to understand and solidify thoughts and feelings, so carry on writing as much as you can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsey65
Losing my mum suddenly at the start of 2024, was such a shock. Each day I think about her and miss her…she is probably the only person that I think really understood me, although I never mentioned my thoughts about gender to her.
|
I’m sorry for your loss, which must be made even harder by the fact that your Mum understood you. That kind of grief will take time to come to terms with. It’s good that you have positive memories of your Mum to look back on - hold on tightly to those memories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsey65
My daughter due to her hard work achieved a First Class Honors Degree last year, so has moved to London to start her well deserved first job. We are so proud of her, but it has left a real hole in our life, as she remained at home while attending Uni.
|
This resonates with me. I really missed my daughter when she left home. We talked about everything. Again, it will take time to come to terms with this, and for me it changed my perspective on life. Like you though, I was incredibly happy for her, and I really wanted her to find her independence and her own life. I think we all want better things for our kids, don’t we?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsey65
Life is too short as they say, and to live with regret for not making the most of it, is not what I want to end my days with. To move closer to allowing myself to be put first is hard as I don't want to upset my wife who has been strong when our marriage has gone through its ups and downs, Maybe I need to get some courage and speak to her about my feelings, so at least she can try to understand what compels me to do what I do. That would be a huge and possible destructive move however for which I dont know what is best.
|
Maybe this is where talking to a professional counsellor/ gender specialist might help, as they might be experienced in guiding you through the various paths that you could take.
I’m certainly with you on the fact that life is short, and finding happiness is so important. We can’t go back and change the past, but we can, to some extent, determine what the future is. However, I understand you are in an incredibly difficult position, and face a tremendous dilemma in trying to explain your feelings to your wife. I hope writing on here helps you to get more perspective on your situation.
Jeff.