I tried hard to keep my stimulation level under control today with very little success. It's discouraging. I did an errand this morning and managed to come straight home once it was done. A success. But i got into a text conversation with P, my male friend from my drop-in, and it was so exciting i couldn't calm down after.

I've also been drinking too much coffee, alcohol, and even smoking. I threw all that stuff away today, including my coffee maker. I've been having trouble getting to sleep. Things will go better now. Today i am too exhausted already. Don't know if i should go see my doctor about this fatigue. It seems like a medical problem. Most of my five meds cause fatigue. It may be my blood pressure med. Having to end my day at 11:00am is not manageable. Having to rest for days just to get up the juice to do a chore is unsustainable.

My mom ran out of energy at this age and had to pace herself. She had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease tho. I have other problems.

Enjoyed a homemade peanut butter smoothie today for lunch and an egg one for dinner. They are low-sodium, low-calorie, high-protein, high-fiber so very nutritious. Good Summer meals.

I join those here having sleeping problems. I'm having trouble getting to sleep and then having troubled shallow unrefreshing sleep. Geez, what i would give just to feel healthy and energetic! I think i may just be plain too tired for a boyfriend. I can't run my life as a single person. I sure couldn't take on a romantic relationship.

I saw myself in the elevator mirror and i'm so tired i *LOOK* tired. That's very rare for me. My eyes are all tiny and wrinkled and look like cigar burns in cheap acetate fabric.