I'm quite. Feeling like nothing matters. There's no fires to put out so I'm uncomfortable. T says don't start a fire but that's exactly what I want to do. I want a dog while we're drowning in debt and trying to get through school. Everything feels like it's no point. There's no point in school, I can't work so why waste the money. So why bother. My thoughts are slow. Tuesday can't come fast enough but I'll probably just sit there quietly so even that is a waste. I'm sinking and I want to sink hard. It's good I have a nurse because I would have stopped medication already. My husband and daughter deserve someone that is functional. I can't be that for them. I see pdoc Monday, I don't want to go I have nothing to say. So it's about not spreading the hurt to others. I know I'll get better eventually but it sucks right now, I really wish I didn't build a family It makes everything more difficult.