So My pdoc put me on an AD hopefully it helps. I'm not buying it will help he said give it a month. I'm kinda like **** it I don't want meds I only said yes because he's going to go vacation for two weeks at the end of the month. I'm hoping the dog occupies me. H says I don't have to work if I don't want too and just because I get a dog doesn't mean I have to give up the idea of a career but it feels that way. I wish I could just accept my disorders and be okay with it. I know I need the dog, the med, tons of therapy. I don't know why I fight for a better life. I feel H will leave me soon. He says everything is okay but I really don't believe him. I'm not looking forward to therapy tomorrow. I'm pessimistic, quiet and just set a fire on my life buying a dog. but I need another reason to live. My parents were supposed to pick the dog up tomorrow and they're now iffy about it. because they didn't realize it's 1,000 round trip. They make me feel like more of a burden. I cried.