Does connecting with her ever help? You might not be getting direct support for specific issues, but maybe just connecting could help with just feeling support in general? Then it might not feel like you’re throwing the time away.

Again, different situation, but since L’s been back I have been feeling so much more secure by focusing on connecting. L says it’s like a trauma sandwich: the “buns” are support, connecting and skills, and the “meat” is the trauma work. You need the “buns” in order to do trauma work safely.

So instead of focusing on issues you can build your connection in other ways?