@Blueberrybook

I don't know if this is going to make you feel any better, but I'm a fcking walking pharmacy too!! Don't know what to do about it. Everytime I try going off a med it doesn't work out. Last one being loxapine, and that started making me delusional and paranoid when I got down to 20mg, so I went t back up to 40mg. I can't go off that med.

I had a therapist/case manager a few years ago when I first started with the county and was actively psychotic (not manic or depressed, just psychotic) and once I got stable on haldol he told me he didn't think I'd last a week without my AP without going back into psychosis. So if I missed three days without any of my meds I'd be out of my mind.

Don't be hard on yourself.

I think it sounds like you're doing the best you can. You're still doing your household chores, taking care of your family, etc. *hugs*