Yup, I get it, you can't see a future at all, and that's ok. I've been there, too.

The thing is, you don't have to think of the future - it hasn't happened yet and we really have no way of knowing whether it'll ever happen. You have what you have now and that's what you can change.

Once you see you're in survival mode, you need to decide if that's where you want to stay. It has its benefits for sure, but if you're at the point where you want to try something else, then you have to make that conscious choice.

We all actually choose, it's just that we make the choice without being aware of it for a lots of reasons: conditioning, environment, expectations, society, etc. All of those things essentially bake in the decision making process so that it becomes seamless and invisible.

Regardless of how we do it, living a certain way - survival mode or otherwise - is a choice we make and, conveniently, enforce on ourselves.

Fortunately you can also choose to live another way and that begins with making the choice to go another route.

Making the switch out of survival mode isn't so straightforward, because survival mode brings with it all kinds of behaviors and coping methods that, while useful in survival mode, are no longer helpful, and it can be really hard to change those behaviors.

I am living that right now and I'm amazed at how my methods of coping and relating are so deeply ingrained. It is really challenging to see those behaviors in a new light and to take the next step and change myself. It's definitely not a short-term, quick fix approach.

I don't have all of the answers, I am still finding my way. I was on the same path as you are now, and literally came to the realization that survival mode had run its course for me. I wanted, and continue to want, to live differently and it's working out so far. It's not easy, but it's better than what I had before.