Hi there.

I've read the other guys posts also, and they have some good points.
The bottom line is you should figure out how much of his behavior you are willing to put up with.

I would never be willing to put up with verbal abuse, or any other kind of abuse for that matter. Secondly, it isn't standard ADHD behavior to be verbally abusive.

I would also caution you on accepting what he said to you about being diagnosed with ADHD as a kid... and attributing his adult behaviors to untreated ADHD. It's obvious he doesn't want to take responsibility for what he knows is inappropriate.

You would save yourself the cycle of the abusive relationship if you stand your ground and have clear boundaries over what is and is not acceptable. Next time he is verbally abusive--- it's only a matter of time---you need to kick him to the curb and give him an ultimatum. I'd try to be preemptive though, and before the next big blowup, tell him to get checked out because his behavior is not normal.

Either way, ADHD or not, I think a decision is yours to make---- do you want to continue having him as your boyfriend if he is unwilling to make the needed changes? I would never settle for anything. If he loves you the same way you love him, he'd be willing to compromise. If he doesn't compromise, I'd run fast.