Yesterday was my pdoc appointment. She was really happy with how stable I've been the last few months. She actually asked what that feels like because it's a fairly new thing for me. It was a good appointment and the best part is that I'm doing well enough to try to come down or maybe someday off klonopin! I was taking 1.5 mg at 8:30 pm and 1 mg at 11 pm and now it's 1 mg each of those times. Because I didn't take it during the day getting off will be easier because my body is used to my levels going up and down. I'm sure it won't be easy but I'd be so happy if we could control my anxiety just with gabapentin and quetiapine.

The only bad thing was that I got home late after 5.5 hours of driving (round trip, not each way) and so I didn't get to sleep easily and then I had to get up for therapy today. So I'm tired but mostly just happy that things are going well. I have a few months and then it's likely I'll have some depression but if we do what we did last year and start my SAD lamp before I have symptoms and then change my AD dose as soon as I do it might not be too bad. It wasn't last year doing that.

I'm just glad to have hope. That's something I do not ever take for granted. I believe there is always hope but I don't always feel that when my mood is out of control.