My therapist of 8.5 years moved at the beginning of this year. It was really hard for me because of the attachment and connection that we shared. I am glad that I did not end early. I wanted every minute I could get with him. We shared letters that were very meaningful at the beginning of December and a second set of letters on our last session. I sobbed. He grabbed my hand. We hugged so hard and said goodbye. I hated saying goodbye to him so much.

Over the next 6 months, we spoke on a decreasing cadence via video call and there were some emails back and forth. In those emails I felt much more open and willing to share my feelings about him than I was before. His responses to those emails were thoughtful and meaningful. Unless he was lying to me, the connection was very mutual and I think I was important to him as well. I don't think we would have gotten to a point where those things could be said, at least on my end, if I had stopped seeing him early. He always told me he cared, but I think I was finally able to fully absorb it by the time we ended.

I think about March I started seeing a new therapist, a woman this time. I don't feel a connection with her, but I am able to talk about my issues. I'm not sure I'll ever feel anything near the connection I had with him.

We last spoke two months ago. It's been hard. I miss him quite a lot. I'm going through a rough patch at the moment and the urge to email him was very insistent in my head, so I did email him this week. He told me that if I ever emailed him he would respond, but it wouldn't be immediately, so I'm hoping that my email was okay and I have faith that he will respond eventually.

I don't know if any of this is useful, but this has been my experience.