I have been seeing my therapist for many years. I speak with her online but always knew that she had a dog. It came up in conversations and sometimes it would be there in the room when we spoke. A few months ago I realised that I have not seen the dog for a few weeks or have not heard her mention it. I felt bad for not noticing at first but then it sent me into a total spiral of anger and sadness. I could and still cannot get over the fact that the dog passed away and we never spoke about it/she never mentioned it. For the records I did not have any emotions related to the pet but it made me reflect on how bizarre this set up is. Could it have passed away on the day we spoke? Was my therapist affected and I had no idea? The dog represents all the other events in therapists' lives that we don't know about. Bereavements, health issues, losses, births and how odd this is to be happening in the background when the therapist is just there.
I do not like this asymmetry and notice it so much more in long term work.
I brought it up in an email to her I sent after one of the sessions but we never spoke about it. I feel uneasy about brining it up now another few months later.