</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
kim_johnson wrote:
I worry that lying down would feel sexualized

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Kim, I'm not sure if this is the same thing, but I feel that lying down is an act of supreme trust, and I have almost a biological instinct not to put myself in positions like that where men could jump me and rape me. I have had men attack me and hold me down and not let me up and those memories and fear are somewhere deep inside and help guide me to unconsciously choose "safe" behaviors. I would have a hard time lying down and exposing myself like that to a man I was not already involved with in a romantic relationship, a deep and longterm friendship, or maybe someone with whom I desired romantic involvement. It would be especially scary if the man sat out of view and I couldn't watch his body and face for clues he was going to harm me. This is not really conscious on my part; it is an inner vigilance. I do trust T deeply and I know he wouldn't attack me, but hey, my unconscious is just trying to keep me safe, and it doesn't hurt anything to sit instead of lie down, so I heed my unconscious and avoid a conscious/unconscious dissonance. (I hate those!)