I am not smart, but I am not dumb either. However, sometimes I seem very witty, while sometimes very stupid. I am known for my being mixed up by close family, while I am known for being highly careful, observant, and aware by friends and strangers as well. I have always loved arts, visual art and classical music in particular, since the date I could remember things as a kid. I am a nearly perfectionist, while I am being careless a lot of times. I am terrible at numbers, yet I got all A+ for college algebra, trigonometry, and calculus. I could understand very well all math lectures. However, I forget everything that's past a few weeks. It's not only math, but also everything else I learned. I cannot remember any knowledge I acquire during my school years. I have a master degree in art history, yet I cannot remember any artist's name except a few very famous ones. I cannot remember any art term out of thousands of terms.


When my husband asked me how much I spent on something after a week, I could not remember. My husband does not ask me the price of something I buy on a regular basis or something ordinary. When he asked me how much the new armoire was, I could not answer. It was hundreds of dollars, yet I could not remember the number.


Sometimes I help out at my parents-in-laws' restaurant. Tonight, my husband showed me a ticket I wrote up and calculated the total price by a calculator. On the ticket, 5 orders of $6.79 dishes ended up only thirteen something dollars. He added, "the chef' helper in the kitchen caught the mistake, and he only took his education up to 6th grade." I was mad at the time my husband said it, because I felt insulted and belittled. Nevertheless, now I think about it; my brain does not function better than perhaps a true 6th grader. Of course it was such an obvious mistake when my husband showed the ticket to me, but it did not seem to be my consciousness that it was obvious when I wrote it up. However, I can subtract, add, multiply, and divide huge numbers in my head in a snap and accurate that most Americans cannot do.


This is just one of many incidences I have been so mixed up. Calculating tickets wrong by using a calculator happens quite often. I cannot give the rough number how much we have paid for our mortgage. That's perhaps due to my not pay any attention to the statements. I did not find out some unauthorized charges on my credit card statement 4 months later for each month. Perhaps I did not check or I missed it; I am not sure.


I look normal, behave normal, and I am very able to do anything I want to. People even call me talented and believe that I do everything well and perfectly. I never miss any appointment, payment, deadline, or anything. Whatever people ask me to do, I do it well. Everybody at work has trusted me and believed that I am the most capable person ever since the date I started working. I have never made any mistakes at work for my own career as an art restorer, art teacher, art designer, and music teacher (have a BA degree in music too, besides MA and BA in art). However, I make a lot of mistakes at the restaurant where a junior high school kid could probably work better better than I could, by miscalculating price, giving out wrong orders, and only giving partial orders out. The ticket says 10 orders, and I only gave one bag of 2 orders out without realizing the number of the actual order not matching the number of order on the ticket.


I have never considered that I have any disorder, but i am simply a mixed up person. However, I am now starting to think that I might have a serious disorder, yet I just have never been diagnosed. I am 38 years old, and my situation has always existed. What's wrong with me? Thank you.