What you are doing bluevixen is one of the hardest challenges a person can face. Nicotene is the most addictive publicly accessed drug there is. The addictiion is multi phased,,both physical and emotional..habitual...

I was addicted to them too...among other things and it was the most difficult to let go of...

But...

In my experience everything becomes easier with a decision. I mean a real decision. Not a pretend one....

If you "decide" you are a non smoker..period,,end of tune..no questions asked...no excuse will be enough....

Then...

It will be easier...not easy,,but easier...

Take all the help you can get and/or find...gum,,lozenges,,,patches,,group support and see if you can find someone to quit with you...that is extremely helpfull...

But the decision is the catalyst to change...

Again,,,only an opinion from one who waved a white flag often,,,to simply buy time...and another chance....

The best of luck to you and congrats to all who kicked the habit...you will live a better life...

Lenny