I'm not really sure where to put this post.

How do we learn to tolerate feelings? I learned quickly as a young child not to feel, anything, ever...and as soon as I could as a teenager I numbed myself with alcohol and drugs and later cigarettes and an eating disorder. All of those things are falling away - most recently the nicotine (a few weeks ago - I'd been using the stupid nicotine gum for YEARS and I'm off it now) and the eating d/o stuff (just in the past 10 days). I started T about 8 months ago, and it's probably the first time I've really had to feel my feelings. Not there in the office, usually, where he could help me, but on the days in between when I'm at home processing the stuff. It's the usual therapy story - things I've never told anyone before are now out in the open, the transference is beyond painful, the old feelings are finally being felt, it hurts, it's too much.

So, I've been up since 4am today. I've been cleaning to keep myself busy, and my 3 boys are here of course....we're going to run errands for a little while. I'm trying to stay busy, but this underlying anxiety is almost overwhelming me. I feel like I'm working so hard, but I can't get away from it. Time is just crawling by. I really don't want to drink, or b/p, or whatever to make it through the day, but I'm starting to feel like I'm not going to make it.

Can someone give me some tips on tolerating feelings? I would be so grateful.