Gwen,

He dropped the ball. I'm sorry that that therapist abandoned you like that over one missed appointment. Maybe he didn't see the note himself, or maybe he thought that what you meant was you didn't want to see him anymore. Did you ask him to contact you in the note? They aren't all like that, but most will consider it your responsibility to reschedule, always, as it isn't ethical to try to keep people in therapy who don't want to be. Maybe he was sitting there thinking to himself, Gwen is mad about that charge for missing an appointment. I wonder if she is mad enough not to want to come back. We'll have to see if she reschedules now.

Anyway, that's another issue. You do still need someone to talk about your abuse with, because it is still so prominent in your thoughts. You could contact the same therapist again and ask for a referral, or find another one the same way you found that one.

I also remembered having been abused years after it had happened. I think I wasn't sure for a while if my memory was real, but I found evidence supporting it. By the time I told anyone about it, that memory must have really been doing some damage and needed out. When I told, it felt like a huge weight was taken off of me and the therapist took it and carried it for me. I actually felt good, and it lasted for three days. I couldn't remember ever feeling good before that. But it wasn't permanent, and needed more processing, and I'm not sure whether I'm done with that one yet or not, but I don't feel as sick about it as I used to.

Let us know when you get another therapist, ok?

hugs,
Rap