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pegasus said:
anxiety can mask all other feelings.


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Yeah, I think this is the trouble. I'm just running and running and running trying to avoid....something. Some feeling. I don't even want to know what it is. I'm scared of it, scared it will be too big for me to handle. But the running and the anxiety are so hard too. I guess that's why it's so tempting to do something unhealthy. Then I won't be running/anxious OR feeling anything.

I did try writing a bit yesterday. There's a lot of grief, and a lot of rage. At least that's what I think they are. And I'm scared of them.

Thanks, Perna and Pegasus for responding. I will try to be still for 20 minutes later.

But I'm scared.