</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
earthmama said:
How do we learn to tolerate feelings?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I don't know. I was not allowed as a child to have feelings so got really good at not even knowing I had any. I have been discovering, through therapy, that I really do have feelings. It's very painful. And I still am really bad at recognizing when I am actually feeling something. It might occur to me hours or days later. And when I do recognize it right away, it feels intolerable. Sometimes if I am sufficiently self aware, I will try to get myself to stick with the feeling, and just experience it. It's hard, but the feelings don't go away if I don't allow myself to feel them, they just get stuffed inside and then need to be uncovered through therapy. Ugghh. So I am trying when I can to let myself feel stuff and not run away from it. I am not skilled at this at all... I think it helps me to say silently to myself when I am feeling something, "it's OK to be sad," or "it's OK to be angry," or even, "it's OK to smile and let others know you are happy." I need someone to tell me it is OK to feel because I have internalized my parents wishes that I not feel. So I try to fill this role myself and give myself permission to feel when I think I am feeling something. It helps sometimes.

(((((earthmama)))))