Partners of those w/mi are definitely caregivers in the truest sense... b/c whether you want to or not, you are constantly having to help regulate the behaviors/emotions of your loved one.

i'm the daughter of 2 people w/spmi and it was a hard road for me growing up... checking your dad to make sure that even though he has peed his pants , that he's not actually dead... checking your mom when she's locked in the bathroom threatening to blow up the trailer park making sure that she's not actually going to kill everyone within a mile radius... etc

don't downplay your burden... not burden in a bad sense...but burden none the less... maybe responsibility is a better word... or role...

in any case... best of luck... sending huge hugs, 18 years... you must be pretty solid to have done so well as a couple to last that long...
to the last poster... i'm sorry you are going throgh this... good luck with it, you are right for making sure you and your children are safe... that is the best thing you can do fo r everyone right now b/c if he hurts someone, he will NOT get help in prison, i can almost promise that...