I'll try to keep this short, I was going to wait until a little bit later to post this because I'm new, but I'm up a gum tree with this so any input / advice is ace. Still a little shy and not wanting to spill my life suddenly out to strangers.

Wasn't really sure if this should do here, or dissociation.

Is it possible to be abused as a child, and not remember it, at all?
I didn't have a good childhood because of the death of my mum and brother. Later on in my life my dad turned physically and verbally abusive. I was raped by him once. There were always missing pieces in my childhood.

I don't want to say it is not an issue for me but I am not haunted by it as so many others are (and for just reasons). I numb out to it a lot and I am aware of that, but it is a way of coping. I generally assumed my childhood was free from abuse because I could not remember any.

Recently a memory just popped up. I don't want to get into it but it was abusive. I am aware there are very large parts of my childhood I do not completely remember.

I know online isn't the way to find the dinkum answer but any input is appreciated.

Is it possible, after years, to realize you were abused as a child? I'm scared there's a lot more I don't remember. As a child I was always withdrawn and a little violent (it's evident in work I've seen that I apparently did in grade school). I'm just worried that all those blank gaps are bad.