im not sure i understand why your T defends H or wants you to connect with H when you say he knows how much you want out of your marriage... are you saying you want out as in "i want to get more out of" or as in "i want to leave?" Maybe you're saying you want to improve your marriage but it's worded as though you want to leave...

either way... i am sorry things are so hard. Medical issues suck... they make things so much harder. You may find many levels of yourself distressed in ways you will not expect. Allow the two selves, mind and body i mean, to be one thing while things are tougher. Think of it as if the mind had an infection too.. because.. being all one being, in essence, it does.

oh yeah... sitting cross-legged? what is different about that? i sit that way right in T's office!