Personally... and this is "justme"... an alter of freewill..

I wouldn't give up on a female T... either... t

to me... the skill set... is most important

a female T... with a very good skill set... could help you manage the transference thing...

have had male.. and female T's.. and to me.. it is the skill set...

also.. I would not... choose a T... that you are going to do "couples conseling" with... try to find one that does individual therapy.. only...

my therapist... and I have discussed.. the issue of couples counseling.. in detail.... he said.. that it helps with the "DID therapy".... because of all the personalities..

But... it is very different he said... that a therapist that does individual only....

And... I tried.. years ago.. the "couples"... and then individual therapy.. with the T... and it.. wasn't a good thing..

Just my input... for what it is worth...