You think this way because you think you DESERVE to be hurt on the whole. If not by yourself then by some1 else. you said it yourself.

I have been working with positive affirmations they seem to help
In the book "the artist`s way" - hey it` s near me i can quote from it:

If you tell yourself "I am good, I deserve a better life, i CAN feel better etc"

You may hear another voice (whom you may consider as you but it`s not) -

" Who are you kidding? who do youhtink you are?!"
This thing is the ego, the socialy devewloped external part of the self which is all your limitations, all your broblems, all your fear....when it`s no more, you ARE....

well i am just quoting form a wounderful poem i read in a live journal...

I say

works with some positive affirmations, and when the negative thoughts start to appear - write tehm down too. i quote again form Artist`s way:

"You will be amazed at the rotten things your subconcious will blurt out. Write them down. These blurts flag your personal negative core beliefs. They hold the key to yoru freedom in their ugly littel claws" The Artist`s Way / Julia Cameron

If you really want to heal - you won`t hurt yourself because you know that every time you do you make it harder to climb out of the hole.......you can do it...it depends ONLY on you. Each and every moment, but you can do it..hard as it is. you will be a hero for yourself when you win.
It`s nothing but a matter of choice. A decision (dang my spelling i am not sure about it sorry )

good luck