Everynight... lately I go to bed.. and sleep..

and I am raped... by my father.. I have the same fear, the same pain, the same repulsion, the same "owies"... and the terror... and my father... saying... the things.. he says...

I have been told.. countless times... "the past is the past, do not live in the past"..

However, I am raped.. every night... here.. now.. in my present...

I... need to have the pain go away... before.. an alter takes things into her own hands.. and... makes the pain go away permenantly...