*sigh* thank you both for the responses.

our trip was wonderful, he even talked about getting married and moving in together...seeing his kids really hurt him, and i know he misses his hometown.

maybe since he's so depressed with work/being in our city he's been withdrawing a little bit..he's seemed upset with his creative block as a musician as well. and i guess i was expecting things or thinking that his depression was linked to me...even though he's said it wasn't.

he's not much of a talker, and i've apologized for my insane behavior.

i just want to get a grip on myself again, and go back to being the confident sweet girl i was.

i saw him last night, he was feeling poorly so i didnt stay over, in fact he hasnt asked me to stay over the past couple nights when normally he doesnt like me to be away for more than one, so i see this in a really pessimistic light. there are really no issues between us, other than i've been hard on him and driving him nuts.

it's just been hard for me to let little things go, and he's even pointed that out.

i think he may have been/ be wondering if we can work this out, but he's trying.

im just wondering if i've messed things up too badly or if i can fix it...or maybe just give him a little space and time, since nothing ive tried works and letting it go just seems to be the best decision.