thanks AAAAA, i think the best thing may be to let this situation go. he said it's hard for him if i keep picking at it and bringing things up.

the sad thing is, i used to be great at communicating with him...nothing to this degree, especially not to where id feel awful afterwards.

i think i may have some other issues here, honestly. i've been looking at myself and i've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and i might possibly have PMDD, which im getting checked out today.

i mentioned to that to him last night and if he thinks im getting it fixed then hopefully he can just categorize it as "ah, this is whats wrong, its getting better because of __________"

i hope i just havent ruined everything, by being stupid.