I have, on quite a few occasions played with the thaught of hurting my self...mostly by burning my self with my cigarette and usually when I am distressed.

I have only moderately "tried" to burn my self once or twice and have never really hurt my self (Not conciously). Is this a warning of possible self-injure or does it fall into the same category as suicidality? (Ideation of suicide that won't necissarily escalate to the actual act)

Also, since I was small, I have been almost constantly in pain and discomfort. Through family reaction's, ridicule and accusation, I had come to think that some of the pain and/or discomfort I felt was felt by all people and the fact that they never said anything about it, meant I was just whinging over nothing. Subsequently I seem to have grown very much "Desensitised" to pain untill the recent discovery that I have Marfan's Syndrome. Since then, I have become more and more aware of the pain and discomfort I have on a daily basis...

Is it possible, that due to me ignoring these ache's and pains over the years, that I have become "addicted" at some level to pain and/or endorphines and that the urge to hurt my self, especially in times of distress is a symptom of this?