Hi amusicboxmelody,
I'm glad things are going better. I certainly don't think you've ruined anything and I don't think you're being stupid. It sounds like both of you could do with some therapy and if he won't go, perhaps you can go for you. It's so hard sometimes when a person is triggered by something and their reaction to the trigger causes us to be triggered and then we react. Learning more about ourselves and how we react can go a long way to help things. And as we learn more about us, I think it has a ripple effect to those around us.

Good luck and keep us posted.