I've been thinking again about the desensitization process. I wonder if focusing on finding ways to prevent a panic attack might actually cause one. Maybe I should instead be focusing accepting it and not freaking out or judging myself when it happens.

Hmmm, this would only make me feel a little better afterward, it wouldn't likely prevent me from jumping off the table. I think I need to continue to work on the relaxation exercises. I find it hard to believe that people can train themselves to do this while actually being trigger. Maybe if they were some Zen monk or something. Heck, I'm struggling with focusing when in the safety of my living room.