I know what you mean. I am forcing myself to eat 3 times a day but what I eat is not enough, I am seriously restricting myself and I want to workout as soon as I am done with "dinner". I do, actually. But it is a lousy feeling to have to talk myself into eating. And feeling so fat afterwards. I feel like I am going crazy. I got a call today and I can join an eating disorders support group next week - it meets Wed eves from 6 to 7:30. But I have to wait until next week. And as soon as I hung up the phone I felt like a fake and a phony and that they are going to laugh at me because I am too fat to be anorexic. Even though according to my Dr. I am 10 lbs underweight, I don't see it.
I lost 43 lbs and it is not enough for me, but I have maintained for 7 weeks now so I guess that is progress. When I am battling with the voices in my head so hard against losing "just 5 more pounds" I know maintaining is better than losing but what I know and how I feel are 2 very, very different things. I feel fat.