hey skip....

i am in the same boat with my wife. i am active duty military and trying to finish up these last 2 years i have on my contract (been in for 7 so far).
I am a nurse so i work shifts and crazy hours. when i work nights shes up all night... and then i get home she swarms me in the daytime leading to no sleep and me being cranky... which is no good for either of us.

she works in the mortgage/real estate sector... but there is a lot going on that i dont know about when she is not home...... .a lot of shady stories and her job is winding down now as she is stressing and loosing contracts becasue of the economy. her personal realtionships with people are very sporadic and come and go often. its hard for me to keep up. she likes to be in control of pretty much everything going on around the house... money.... where i am and what i am doing.... and she is not complaint with her meds at all...

there are things i would like to accomplish since my career is young as far as nursing goes. and it is hard to cope with everything that is goign on plus being active duty.

so i feel and know exactly what you are gong through as far as working crazy hours and lauching a new career ........

the funny thing is that we are finding out about this too and there aren't any easy answers. being a nurse has actually made things slightly worse for myself since i can no longer play the ignorance card (which is like a moral catch-22 anyway). i love my wife and want to help her..... truely..... and yes i understand it is a disease.... but its almost honestly easier watching someone die than to live day-in day-out like this.....

she has two kids from a previous marriage (the huband was no winner) and the kids are unfortunately too young to understand everything that is going on.... she is not comfortable with herself or her idea of being 'labeled' with bipolar disorder.....

so i honestly don't even know myself how to handle all of this. part of me really understand the things that she is going through.... the other part is VERY VERY selfish as far as wanting a wife and a partner (which to be honest i feel that i don't have)

i wish i could get an easy answer out to you... i am not trying to dismay you or anything like that at all.... BUT...... i think that this is a learning process for everyonce and since (unfortunately) people are not made from a cookie-cutter that each situation is entirely different.

there are days i find myself wondering what i got into (as is the case in most of these.... she wasn't like this when we got together)....and then there are the good days (far and few inbetween it seems) that i like to take deep breaths.

her mother is chronically depressed and her father is passive/ignorant of either of their conditions and would rather just turn his head and pretend everything is fine. since i am new (been married almost 2 years) to the family people would rather believe that i am the problem since i am new to the relationship rather than take a chance that me or the doctor might know what we are talking about.

sigh.... i've rambled on enough... but ..... all i can say is this.... if there is a chance that after a while things could calm down again and provide a better income, more stability in the near future for you and your family, then i woudl take it. there is nothing worse than tyring to squeeze by on crumbs when there is a future possibility of comfort.

just a thought....