awww Kiya ty I love bunnies .....

ty everyone for your replies..... therapy was different today. She says she sees a change in me .... she's slowing down so we talked about random stuff, i felt awkward today and she thinks it's because i am subconsciously testing her for trust maybe ... i was reading up on didnos (?) THINK THAT IS RIGHT ....oops .... and it seems during intensive therapy i could go either way, go into full DID or stay the same or it go becuase it is not DID as such ...... we talked about our rekationship, i said i could be very good friends with her because she understands me so well ... she said the same, but there has to be boundaries of course. I know i could e.mail her anytime if i was bad, but i wouldn't do that cos it's not how it works here ..... but after therapy finishes we'll have to see.

i remembered a lot of stuff tonight while i was reading the dissertation, i used to hurt myself, a voice in my head told me to.... but that was efore the sexual abuse, that must have been the emotional side, emotional abuse from mother ..... i remember the voice.....it controlled what i did for years .....

i did kind of relax while i was in there ..... and made scones when i came home.... bizzare

sorry.i'm rambling..... ty for listening Jin xx