I can relate to this also.

I was like that for awhile, until someone - a blast from the past - saw me, hardly recognizing my demeanor, and was quite forthright about the condition they saw me in ... sad, lost-like, depressed, under-whelmed.

He said, I remember 'thus and so' and when you did 'this-n-that', and remember when we went 'here-n-there' like nothing could stop us back then from enjoying life!

Well, I figured part of my rebounding back to embracing life was a real job -
one where I let go of the burdens and regrets and anguish I carried -
and replace these with the curiosity and drive to experience things and find what I enjoy to do 'in the now' of my life, and grow up just enough to do this for my own mental health.

just thoughts, hope something helps.

peace and hopefully, a vision of how it will get better
night