Before and during my situation of settling my case against a religious organization for its abusive clergy, I felt empowered. Eventually, I have come to forgive the two men and continue the fortgiving process to this day. I can't just say "I forgive you" and expect to feel all better. But, I can say "I will keep working on my forgiveness for what you did to me."
I, too, felt responsible for what the men did.
"I must have done something to sexually provoke him," I used to think, especially as a teenager. Or, "I was sinful for not running out of that church office" was another one of my personal statements.
Uuugghgghh!!!
I'm not guilty of a thing. These two men are. One, years ago after others came forward, has been relieved of his duties and is in retirement. The other man died not long after the court case was filed.
As a teenager, I was not in a position to say "No."
Things get better with therapy and the help of my Higher Power.