I was just wondering how many of you constantly walk this fine line between hospitalization and remaining 'outside' with your therapists.

Until recently I was very open with my T about the selfdestructive acts I did to myself, feeling it was my obligation to let her know. But it got to the point that she theratened to stop seeing me unless she told me parents and made me move back home until I was 'stable.'

stable, ha! Far from it I am afraid. I am back up to my old tricks. Pushing the lethal limits on med ingestions and carving myself up even in public places (something I have never resorted to before)

I want to tell her this, but she will just make me move back home. And although I know you will all tell me this is the best thing, you would have to consider my familial situation right now.

My parents are in the middle of a NASTY divorce. And when I say middle, I mean they just made if official a few days ago via court. Of course I am 20 and live in an apt. by myself, so custody is no issue or anything. But making me move back into that situation wouldnt help anything.
But I dont knwo what to do. At this rate I am going to die by my own hand. And from this vantage point it seems inevitable.
This is no suicidal post, so dont get that in your head.

I just dont know how to ask for help without the threat of losing my apartment.

If I lost my apartment that would be the end. No questions asked. Just consider my situation.

I just want some advice.

Please?

I'm lost. And I feel like everyone tells on me in the end and I just get in trouble. My life is one big series of me getting in trouble for how I feel.