(((((AllyH88)))))

I've had several experences very, very similar to your's, as well. I think it's a pretty common reaction when depressed. It's really hard to see others get what we have needed for years, and have been struggling to get and have yet to find. This isn't necessarily an attempt to explain *why* you feel this way, but I've read some articles on the possible evolutionary origins of depression. Since humans are such social animals, when we feel deprived of what we need socially, we are apt to become depressed. Some scientists (I don't agree with this view entirely) argue that depression is a warning signal of sorts to other members of our social group, that we need help and attention, some tlc.

Like I said, I'm not trying to reduce what you feel to some kind of low-level biological mechanism. Rather, just trying to give you perspective: it's natural to feel jealous when our cries for help, as quiet or as loud as they may be, go unheeded, but others' get heard so quickly. I've struggled with this many, many times in the past, especially since I have Borderline Personality Disorder.

If you want to get rid of this feeling, or feel you need to, try looking at the situation in a different way. First, this woman is human just like you. She has needs, feelings, emotions, and secrets. For all you know, she may have been harboring these feelings of despair for much longer than the circumstances would seem to suggest. Secondly, maybe you can take this as a cue that your other coworkers would be receptive to your cries for help. It's tough to open up to people, but it may be just what you need. Or perhaps you can open up to this woman who you are now jealous of; extend your hand to her, and she might extend her's back as well.

Hope this helps, and hope I didn't sound preachy; I've struggled with this many times in the past. PM me if you wanna talk some more.

Take care,



J