Hi woofwoof, I go the opposite way. If somebody makes me mad or hurts me, I just ignore them. I just pretend they don't exist. Which means I don't deal with my anger issues. My BF is like you, he obsesses about people he hates. It causes him a lot of discomfort--it is no fun to always be angry or vengeful. I have no real advice for you, I just wanted you to know you are not alone.