Actually the doc does know I have anxiety and I'm on Effexor for it and have been doing quite well, but I want something for the freak-outs that happen occasionally. He isn't big on handing out too many meds.

We are going to be moving, I am uprooting my kids, I'm building a house, I'm dealing with tight money because of everything, and when I'm under a lot of stress occasionally I freak out. I feel terrible that my 6 year old will be moving schools, losing all his friends, will have to pack up some of his toys for storage, and share a room with his 9 month old brother. He doesn't seem very concerned and I know that realistically it is no big deal, but I already moved him away from friends last year because we sold our house. This new place is only about a mile from the new house compared to the 20 miles away we are now, the utilities will be cheaper, we will save on gas, and my son won't have to transfer to a new school in the middle of the year.

This move happened suddenly and I suddenly started to hyperventilate and began sobbing uncontrollably and couldn't focus and my mind was racing and that little voice inside me was screaming that I was a bad mother and all I wanted was to beat it out of my head. So yeah, I had a bit of freak out because of it and my husband went to get me a Valium and there was only 1/2 a pill left. Maybe if I take my husband with me to help back me up it will help me feel better about it.

The meds help stabilize my moods and anxiety, but it is almost like when things get extreme there is still a bit of bleed through that the meds I’m on can’t address. The episode the other night was like when I’m crashing after being hypomanic and having an anxiety attack at the same time, but I never experienced the hypomania.