My middle name is 'self-sabotage' (not my actual name, but I can totally relate). I've found that for me it's so much easier to buy for others simply because it's easier to justify. But also because I know it will make the other person happy. The excitement I feel when I give to myself is fleeting-- I'll do what you do-- feel like I don't deserve it. I suppose that this is part of our healing-- easier said than done, of course.

If you're interested, medical intuitive, Carolyn (Caroline?) Myss has a book called "Sacred Contracts" in which she discusses four main ways people destroy their lives. Sabotage is one of them. It's spiritually, rather than scientifically based. I haven't finished it yet (I started it ages ago), so I can't tell you how helpful it is.