Kimmy is right. I have been in your shoes...except a step further. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

You have every right to tell your husband you don't want him seeing/speaking to her again. If he says, "I'm not allowed to have friends." Be honest and tell him, she's not a friend. And he knows it. If he continues the "I can't have friends mantra" you may just have to say, "no...right now, you can't."

If there is one thing I have learned in the past 2 years it is to TRUST YOUR INSTICTS! Do not let him placate you with "right answers". If you think something is wrong...there probably is.

Are you willing/prepared to give him an ultimatum? My husband has been very good about my boundaries since things happened. For example, he was calling other women, "hon"...it just set me off. I told him to stop. Hasn't been a problem since.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.